johnnypenn (johnnypenn) wrote,

Deleted scenes fromt he Dogpatch -

THis is inspired by Monty Python. I had to do it.

Deleted scenes – The Dogpatch



(Hannibal discovers that Hendrickson has escaped from the camp and Templeton tries to run interference, regrettably, it’s all a bit silly….and suspect)


Hannibal entered the prison yard, alone. He lit up his ever present cigar. He glares at Templeton who is staring off into the distance. He crosses the yard quickly.


“What’s this?” Hannibal askes.


“What’s what?” Templeton asked, surprised.


Hannibal pulls back the blanket of the second cot to discover a pile of dead forest brush that has been made up into a manakin. “This?”


“That…is a Marin,” Templeton replied.


“No it’s not,” Hannibal countered.


“Yes it is!” Templeton replied.


“It’s a dummy!”


“Well…I shouldn’t say such mean things about my superior officer,” Templeton said nervously.


“What is this?” Hannibal asked.

”You’ve asked me that all ready, isn’t it quite obvious that it’s a mannequin made out leaves and shit from the forest?” Templeton asked.


“That’s not what I meant, boy!”


“Than what did you mean?”


“I mean, where the hell did the other prisoner go?”


“What prisoner?”




“Oh him!” Templeton grinned.


“Yes…” Hannibal rolled his eyes, “him,”


“He’s not here,” Templeton replied, “Hence the manaquin!”


“I know that,”


“Than why did you ask?” Templeton cocked his head to the side.


“I asked because it’s expected!” Hannibal sighed.


“Expected, sir?”


“Yes, in these sorts of stories, no matter what happens, I know about it. But I ask to make you and other people nervous about what sort of punishment they’ll receive after they have told me what is going on,” Hannibal explained.


“So…you ask redundant questions to get information across to the audience, then?” Templeton inquired.




“Lame,” Templeton yawned.






“Why’d you make fun of the story writing?”


“It’s not my fault the Author of this story knows shit about writing!” Templeton smirked.


“Oh, and you do?” Hannibal challenged.


“Yes, in fact I do…”


[Que ripple effect and scene change with Templeton voice over]


          Once upon a time in a Vietnam war camp, by the name of Dogpatch, lived a silver haired man who was ubber sexy but very angsty – his name is Hannibal!


          “Oh, why can’t I be a good guy and gain a lover who loves me even though I smoke, come up with cunning plans and loves my silver hair!?”


          Then, he meets Templeton peck, a secret assassin by the name of Faceman – Sssshhh, Hannibal doesn’t know – and they fall in love.


          Templeton swoons; “Oh Hannibal! You sexy stud!”


          “My love!” cries Hannibal and they kiss passionately….


[The flash back of horrible harlequin idiocy is interrupted by the author]


          “Stop it right there!” Jonni glares at the two.


          “What’s wrong now?” Templeton pouts.


          “You two are ruining a perfectly good angsty/romantic story, thank you very much!” Jonni returns harshly.


          “How is it that you spell your name Johnny but here you use Jonni?” Hannibal asked.


          “Eh, I have a free LJ account, it doesn’t allow you to change your name unless you pay for it. But that’s not the point, I love the way it looks, *lol*” Jonni grinned.


          “Maybe this should be a deleted scene,” Templeton sweat dropped.


          “Erm, yes…” Jonni licked her lips, “I concur wholeheartedly!”




Deleted scene two – Murdock and BA in the shit truck –


          I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay, I work all night and sleep all day! I press wild flowers, wear high heels and a braw!”


          Murdock! You are doing it wrong, fool!”


          “Okay, than you sing it, big guy!” Murdock challenged.


          “Fine! I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay, I work all day and I sleep all night, I like to press wild flowers, I put on women’s clothing, and hang around in bars!”


          Murdock cackled evilly when BA realized exactly which part of the song he’d sung. The truck swerved on the dirt road as BA tried to beat Murdock to a pulp.



(Yes, maybe it is a good idea this is a deleted scene)

Tags: ba, bad writing, fairies, hannibal, military, monty python, murdock, silly, suspect, templeton, the a-team

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